3 x 5

I've grown weary and continuously more unable to fit the world in the naive box in which I used to held it captive. I ran into a conclusion earlier today, one that although I hate to consider is only the divine truth.
(Just a little background on the story so that it makes more sense)
I attend a literature class here in spain taught by a family friend, let's just say we go way back! As the story goes, I had been in this class so far with no major complaints, besides his incomprehensible habit of not wearing deodorant and being able to sweat through two shirts and a sweatshirt by the end of class. He is a man of simplistic views and understandable only because of his major! Seems like all literature majors are people with idealistic views on life and others. I came to test week and although we had all explained to him that he had not covered the information he expected us to regurgitate adequately we still felt like we should still take the test.
Last night I studied for a couple hours with friends and was beginning to get in the studying-roll when curfew hit and we had to retrieve to our rooms. From there everything went down hill. I guess I had just been working so hard and had been so stressed and I hadn't know it until I talked to my mom, my world broke apart. Horrible news hit me from all sides and I couldn't take it! Shortly after I spoke with a old and she told me the condition of friends back at home! Things were really not holding up for me by then! Thinking it would be the wisest thing, I tried to go to sleep but didn't reach any sort of rest until about 4 am.
Mortified by my turn of events I assumed that my teacher would comprehend. As I spoke with him, tears streaming down my checks my worst fear came true. He looked me straight in the eyes and said... well if you fail... you fail! My response was a blank stare! I was dumbfounded by his immediate response and his lack of understanding! I want you to understand that is class is the biggest joke! We don't do anything and when we have class we just talk about his ideals and why he thinks spirituality is so important.
With no other remedy I worked up the strength and followed him to class. I prayed for wisdom in what I hadn't been able to study, but the moment that he put that test on my desk I blanked. My tears had no other place to go but down my face and unto my lap! The sobbing chokes kept me from breathing and I darted out of class. I have never felt more useless in my life!!
All this from a man who spoke to us all quarter about brotherly love. A man who day after day pounded the fruitful idea of understanding into our brains. I've not only been disappointed in this man but so many others that when the time comes to show their true colors, truly do, and it's disappointing.
I've been working on giving all the benefit of the doubt this year! It's kinda of my goal in improving who I am! It's proven helpful many times, but other times I feel taken advantage of. This man not only let me see how hypocritically most people live their lives but he proved to me that no is who they seem to be.